When He Cannot Talk
by theforeverfangirl
Summary: 'Think, Sherlock, it shouldn't be too much of a challenge for you. There are infinite reasons why I might not be able to talk, I might be suffering from an asthma attack, be in a church or other place of worship, just have had by tongue burned, cut or stung by an insect…' The relationship of two brothers summed up in a series of text conversations.
1. Chapter 1

Here are some text conversations between adult Mycroft and Sherlock, all short and written as soon as they popped into my head. Please review! T for some mild swearing.

 **Sherlock?**

Mycroft. How's your head cold? SH

 **Wrong, brother mine. Again.**

Shut up. SH

 **Yet another piece of proof that I** _ **am**_ **the smart one. Think, Sherlock, it shouldn't be too much of a challenge for you. There are infinite reasons why I might not be able to talk, I might be suffering from an asthma attack, be in a church or other place of worship, just have had by tongue burned, cut or stung by an insect…**

Why am I needed? SH

 **Nice change of subject…I merely wanted to wish you birthday greetings.**

I hate birthdays. So boring. SH

 **I know.**

Of course _you_ would. SH

 **That was 30 years ago, Sherlock.**

You still owe me for that little incident. SH

 **Oh, grow up!**


	2. Chapter 2

**I saw what you did Sherlock!**

You deserved it, fatso. You really need to lose weight! SH

 **Piss off.**

Language, brother dear! Imagine what Mummy would say if she saw that text…her _perfect_ son… SH

 **Are you blackmailing me?**

Of course. SH

 **I'd like to see you try. I'd tell Mummy you hijacked my phone, she'd believe anything of** _ **you.**_

That's not _my_ fault Mycroft! SH

 **What else would I expect you to say? Nothing ever seemed to be** _ **your**_ **fault, Sherlock. Somehow, you always managed to make it** _ **very clear**_ **to Mummy that it was** _ **I**_ **who was behind all your twisted experiments and dissections as a child, your problems at school, your thieving and lying!**

Well, you never exactly tried to stop me. You were always somewhere else, trying to make _good connections_ to get into the government, or studying for your _Oxford examinations_ , or trying to impress a _girl._ I'd have never believed that you could let yourself become so vulnerable for someone else if I hadn't seen the visual proof. SH

 **At least** _ **I'm**_ **not still a virgin.**

Virginity isn't really what you lose when you eat a whole cake in under 10 minutes, Mycroft. SH

 **I feel the burn.**

Of course you do. That's what happens when you can't wait until the cake has cooled properly. SH

 **Do you want a piece of me? Because you don't want to see me angry, Sherlock!**

I already have. No, Mycroft, it isn't a question of what I want a piece of, but what _you know_ you are craving a piece of.

 **I simply can't cope with your immaturity any longer.**


	3. Chapter 3

Are you coming tomorrow? SH

 **I haven't decided yet.**

You'd better, or Mummy will be _very upset_. She never sees you anymore. SH

 **In case you've forgotten, I am a very busy and very important man! And at least I still call her regularly!**

I have called her! SH

 **Really? When?**

No comment. SH

 **Sherlock, it is time you finally realised that sometimes you have to** _ **pretend**_ **that you are normal and that you** _ **care**_ **to earn your peers' respect! How else do you think I rose to such a position of prominence?**

What's the point? 'Positions of prominence' and 'earning your peers' respect' are boring. You know I never cared about that kind of thing. SH

 **Yes, well, I know all you ever cared about were not being bored and telling everyone everything about themselves from one glance. You have never had any emotional maturity to know the consequences! How else could a man of** _ **somewhat**_ **high intelligence find themselves disliked by almost everyone they know and feared by the others?**

Oh, dear. We all have bad days…don't take it out on me.

You shouldn't talk about emotional maturity Mycroft…you still wailed for Mummy whenever I called you fat, even when you were an adult. Pathetic.

And John doesn't hate or fear me. SH

 **How would you know? I'm amazed he is voluntarily still your flatmate.**

Why don't you ask him yourself? SH

 **Fine.**

'Emotional maturity' indeed. You are really just a big, fat child, Mycroft. SH

 **There it is again! You could say that to a superior, like myself, without hesitation and find yourself homeless, friendless and caseless for the rest of your life! It destroys me to see you say things like that when they could be the end of you!**

Awwww! Thanks for the concern, big brother. Anyhow, if I became homeless, I would just stay at your house. You know how well that would go. SH

 **What gives you the impression I would let you stay?**

Well, seeing as you 'worry about me constantly', I think it's fair to say you would.


	4. Chapter 4

_**Warning: Contains spoilers for 3x02, the Sign of Three. I have always thought the wedding was, at the same time, happy and confronting for Sherlock, he saw such joy in the lives of John and Mary, but felt isolated from it.**_

 **How was the wedding?**

Same as always. People danced, they talked, they drank too much. SH

 **Ah, weddings. So sentimental. I warned you Sherlock, getting involved in such matters only brings you down.**

Who said I was getting involved? It's not my fault John asked me to be his best man. SH

 **I suppose not… How was the speech? Were the audience overcome by tears of happiness or rather did you overdo it a bit?**

How do you know that it didn't go well? SH

…

Ah, John must have called you. SH

 **Yes, apparently, there were moments of both, you went from one end of the spectrum to the other, Sherlock…talking about John to raving about who you would kill at a wedding!**

As I said, the decision for me to be best man was entirely John's, and was, at best, unwise. The murder was also out of my control. SH

 **You know, brother mine, sometimes I wonder if murderers don't commit their crimes knowing you are around…a sort of challenge, to see which of them could beat Sherlock Holmes. You attract murder like flies to a cadaver.**

Lovely simile. SH

 **How do you think John feels now?**

About the speech? SH

 _ **Idiot**_ **. About the wedding.**

Well, obviously he feels the things that normal people feel, all that lovey-dovey stuff like tenderness, comfort, protectiveness… SH

 **Caring is not an advantage.**

I know. Are you completely sure there's nothing wrong with us?

 **No, but then again, I never am.**


	5. Chapter 5

_**Warning: Contains some very mild spoilers for 3x02 and 3x03.**_

 **Sherlock.**

Back again so soon? Has something happened? SH

 **No.**

Oh, come on! We only finished texting 10 minutes ago! SH

 **I only just remembered…it's 20 years today, Sherlock. Since Redbeard.**

As I said before, I am not a child anymore, Mycroft. SH

 **Of course not, Sherlock.**

You're a hypocrite. You say caring isn't an advantage, but you do care. About some things. SH

 **I was a child then too, Sherlock. One cannot help but show his feelings while he is so young.**

You aren't young anymore…you're old and fat. You can't let go of everything, no matter how hard you try. SH

 **You've been drinking.**

Of course. What else do people do at weddings? SH

 **Find love…get married.**

What do you know about those things? You've never been in love. SH

 **As always, you assume, incorrectly, that you know every detail of my life, Sherlock. Besides, I am not as old and fat as you might think, there is still a chance…**

Oh, Mycroft. I always knew you had the heart of a teenage girl…yearning for love and first romances… SH

 **Shut up.**


End file.
